Hindu girlhood in the diaspora

[lovecatcadillac]

I'm writing a novel set at an all-girl Catholic secondary school in Perth, Western Australia in the year 2003. It's based in part on my own young teenage years, and features multiple POV characters, including one girl who is Hindu and the daughter of middle-class Indian migrants. I'm not South Asian or a person of colour, and I grew up with parents who were quite anti-religion, so I'm trying to be very purposeful in writing this girl's experience.

I have a handful of questions about life in the Indian/South Asian diaspora in the early 2000s, specifically regarding teen girl sleepovers, how religiously based vegetarianism might shape social excursions with friends, and recommendations for resources on how religion might factor into a 14-year-old Hindu girl's internal life.

1. In one chapter, a group of 14 year-old girls meet up during the school holidays to see a movie and grab some lunch at a Burger King-like restaurant (i.e., a low-cost fast food joint that serves beef burgers). This is based on an afternoon in my own teenage years. However, it's occurred to me that if one of the girls was an observant Hindu, she would be likely to have been raised vegetarian, and thus might not want to eat in a restaurant where even the vegetarian options might have been cooked in close proximity to beef. With that in mind, if a young Hindu teenager in the diaspora was seeing some friends, how likely is it that she would simply eat a vegetarian option at a restaurant like Burger King? If she wasn't able to eat at a burger place, would a pizza joint or a fish-and-chip shop be more appropriate?*
2. One of the key chapters in the book centres around a sleepover birthday party held at my Indian girl character's home and attended by her friends. In conversations on and offline, women from diaspora communities (particularly South Asian) attest that they were not allowed sleepovers with friends as kids. In my own childhood, I had two different friends who were South Asian (my best friend from ages 9-12 was a migrant from India who emigrated as a baby, my best friend from ages 16 on was from Malaysia and emigrated in her mid-teens). Both girls were allowed to have sleepovers: one could only have sleepovers hosted in her own home, whereas the other was allowed to stay at other people's houses. As I've conceived my character thus far, I figure she emigrated at around age 5. To write my character's parents, are there certain hallmarks of a parent from a South Asian migrant background who would be more likely to allow sleepovers, or host sleepovers in their home?
3. I've begun researching Hinduism to see how it might factor into the worldview of a young Millennial teenager who is kind, creative, a bit eccentric, accepting of others' differences and has some trouble speaking up for herself with her friends (but is learning more about what it means to assert herself). Thus far, I haven't found a lot which is from a young, female, Millennial perspective. If anyone has any insights they would like to share, or recommendations for resources (e.g., memoirs from the South Asian diaspora, YouTube/TikTok accounts, blogs, etc.), I would appreciate it immeasurably (and would, of course, acknowledge your contribution if I ever manage to publish this darned thing).

* I figure that she might be unlikely to eat fish either, but wanted to throw fish and chips there as a possible option for something that young teens in the early 2000s in Perth might eat. Sushi wasn't a common food option in the time and place the story is set, and ice cream doesn't seem right as this chapter takes place during winter.

Comments

[winterbird]

If it's winter, Hare Krishna in Northbridge and Annalakshmi would have had the best 'warming' foods. Hungry Jack's would have been a great default option.

For actual details (like Hare Krishna serving on metal trays etc.) feel free to hmu, I don't know how much detail you need.

I also want to add that outside of tofu dishes, many South East Asian places got kind of mad if you asked for substitutions outside of the tofu options already on the menu. I would say tofu substitutions in general was a very '.....we don't do that sorry.' Or you'd just get the Look.

But yeah I ate WELL among my vegetarian friends in Perth at the time (to the point that it has influenced the way I cook ever since, I still make dhal, I still make carrot and ginger soup, I still get veggie whoppers, I still get tofu pad thai (and mapo tofu which my veggie friends weren't having, I'm a tofu convert lmao), I still make vegetarian pasta, etc., it was just that what we ate well was almost always junk food, or Indian or South East Asian or Italian food, lol. I will add that you really couldn't expect to be catered for in 'white places' (many cafes or restaurants), or there would be like... sometimes one sad token meal. Or alternatively, we would just all have chips with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce and iced coffees which frankly are still some of my happiest memories. That happened at Moon Cafe, also in Northbridge (and still there!) Back in the day it played a lot of goth-industrial music, and also dance music, it was open late so it was a great place to crash in a booth and just chat with friends. Also pretty queer, though not to the point that people weren't just using it for cheap feeds.

Happy to answer more until you get someone more specifically suited to answering your questions! Back in the day, we were in a poor immigrant area and so most of my friends were POC and specifically Asian of some kind, and vegetarianism was actually pretty common. Shout out to the 1990s John Forrest crew, lol.

[lovecatcadillac]

I’m overwhelmed (delightfully so!) at how many pointers you’ve offered. I really appreciate it!

I love everything you’ve written about what you used to eat at the time, especially with friends. When it comes to writing food into the story, I’ve gone mainly from what I remember eating at that time, as well as references to food in contemporaneous books and food features in old girls’ magazines (e.g. “Here are the unhealthy options you eat, and some healthy alternatives!” “Everything I Eat in a Day: By A. Teenager”).

Your note on the differences in how your one friend would behave around her social group as opposed to her parents is also interesting to consider. My character is in the very early stages of teenage rebellion, and it’s more against her childhood friends than her parents – less “Let’s smoke ciggies behind the bike shed” and more “I would like to be friends with someone who smokes ciggies behind the bike shed because she seems pretty nice and takes me seriously. This is beginning to pose a challenge because my ultra-anxious childhood best friend goes into a horror-spiral at the notion of expanding our friend group.”
Writing someone with parents who are somewhere on the continuum of strict is an interesting challenge, because my parents were very hands-off (to the point of being a little bit neglectful). I was such a homebody and tended to only rebel in ways that adults didn’t pick up on, so I never got grounded. There was also no limit on what I read or watched, which was a great relief to me as I loved all kinds of books, TV and movies and would have pitched a fit if they hadn’t allowed me to read The Color Purple or The Virgin Suicides. My parents could definitely be strict about some things – I was not technically allowed to take the train up to the city to window-shop without an adult, and there wasn’t really an open discussion about when I would be allowed to do this. (The lack of an open discussion meant I just started sneaking up to the city after I turned fifteen and telling Mum I was in Freo, lol.) My mum was also very clear that she didn’t want me going to anti-war protests after September 11 2001. I think she was picturing fire hoses and police dogs, though I don’t know if that ever really happened at the anti-war protests in Perth.

All this is to say, I’d love to pick your brain about your experiences growing up in Perth – for my other characters as well as my Indian girl character. I’m very keen to broaden my perspectives about what growing up in Perth at the time was like, so that my characters feel distinct from each other. Would you mind if I messaged you down the line?

[winterbird]

I do ramble so I apologise for the overwhelm! :D

And yes feel free to message! I work as a writer myself, so thinking about the distinguishing traits of even just people in my own life is something that comes pretty naturally to me! :D I don't write YA though (even though it's an awesome like umbrella genre so many great tales).

our note on the differences in how your one friend would behave around her social group as opposed to her parents is also interesting to consider.

I suspect Z had an abusive father, which definitely influences things here. But even though she was soft-spoken (including at high school), she could be kind of wild in public. That being said, *none of us were drinkers* in any capacity. Including when we were in our early 20s. None of our social meets involved alcohol of any kind (I know this might not be relevant given the age of your chara, but I had family members drinking and taking drugs at 14 lol - so when I say Z was wild, I mean not really, she swore sometimes and debated heatedly with us and was basically just fun to be around).

In retrospect, this lack of drinking is probably pretty strange from the outside looking in. At the time, it was just incredibly normal because we always had things to do (wandering around Kings Park, going to the movies, going to food places, going to friend's houses for pool parties etc.), but it does mean I have no like... stories around operating in this way as a teenager. I knew a lot of other folks from my high school who were finding ways to drink and who *wanted* to drink. We were just...not that group, lol. We were queer and straight geeks basically.

Another place I forgot to mention was Fast Eddy's because most (all?) have closed down, but back around then it was a big deal to to have a late night place that offered like fried mushrooms and chips etc. though I do remember they were pricey, compared to other options. But yeah, I remember that being a good place to go when everywhere else was closed and we weren't in Northbridge!

[fred_mouse]

Pretty sure that all the Fast Eddy's are gone, but the Hare Krishna place is still there in Northbridge. I don't think they do the metal trays any more.